Good Girls Don’t Improvise: Having Each Other’s Backs

Good Girls Don’t Improvise Post #4

Last night may seem to have been just any Thursday night, but in New York City it was the debut of our all-woman’s improv troupe. We are calling the troupe “13 degrees” because of the talk I have been giving about the GOOD GIRL structure in women’s consciousness and a series of photos I found: the stereotypical “GOOD WOMAN” all with a slightly passive and selfless tilt to her head, and all at about a 13 degree angle.  There is a scene in IRON MAN 2 (great movie if you haven’t seen it yet) and in one part Gwenyth Paltrow is talking to Robert Downey Jr and she goes from being very angry (straight ahead-head) to suddenly being the very understanding “good” girl and WHAM!  her head tilts 13 degrees. It’s fascinating and I have started to see all the times I do it as well…all very interesting.

Anyway, I digress…the show last night was a huge success and the 8 women performing worked together really beautifully. And the fact they were women was not the point or the focus of the troupe. It was not the point of their scenes. They were all improvisers FIRST and women second.  What I thought was perhaps most significant was a comment I kept hearing from them after the show: “I was aware that all the other women had my back.  I never felt that before.” They said it made them relax and not worry, not feel competitive and that they had to out-do one another; that their scene partners were not going to betray them or use them in any way to put themselves on top; that whatever inkling of an idea they might put forward, the others would take and run with and support.  For anyone who has performed a lot, you will know this is a very rare thing. And then it’s ALL WOMEN, even more rare. And all it takes is ONE woman to decide to put herself first and break the trust that has been built over these last 3 months for the whole thing to fall apart.  It still would have been an entertaining show I have no doubt, but the quality of joy and ease and togetherness that was palpable would not have been there, and I’m sure the ability to take risks and “be out there” would have disappeared.

The GOOD WOMAN structure cannot inherently trust other women because it is designed to set you apart from all the others.  “How will the man pick you from the rest if you’re all together?” It may not be totally conscious but that is its motive.  Women are seen as competition first, and we know that we are all capable of stabbing each other in the back at the drop of a hat.  Think of all the times, whether it’s been you or the female friend you’re with, when you are together and then an attractive alpha-male comes up…that movement to get his affirmation and attention at all costs…that is this GOOD WOMAN’s M.O. and unless we make that conscious and see that we all have that drive BUT we all do not have to act from it, we most likely WILL be acting from it.  And then imagine the tempation to “be the one” when you’re on stage and everyone is looking at YOU. What it would mean to still trust all the other women and know that no one is going to pick up ‘the dagger’ but instead, pledge to have your back no matter what happens.  It is a real victory!!! and judging from last night’s audience, a victory that everyone can reap the benefits, and implications, of.

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